Chemo day May 20, 2013

Woke up this morning really not wanting to go to the clinic. Last night one of Moms bible study friends came by to talk to me about her own chemo experience. I was not very thrilled about it, but her message to me was good although I really didn't want to hear about the pain she went through. That did more harm than good to be honest. I'm more nervous today than I was last Wednesday. I'm not looking forward to this one bit. I know the infusion should be okay but I still wish Bobby was here for me rather than at work. But at least ill get to see him today when I get home. Right now they've got me hooked up to the drip machine with a saline solution drip. I'm waiting for my steroid/nausea mix before the chemo starts. Earlier I saw a young man around my age here. I wish I could have spoken with him a bit and get his experience on all this. I would feel more relatable to someone else my age going through all this. My cousins have a friend of theirs talking to me about his own experiences which is sweet. He was a lot younger than I was when he went through chemo. His experience makes me relax a lot. But I'm still nervous because of all the stuff my mom keeps throwing at me. I'm really starting to get annoyed with her doing things without making sure its okay with me first. But that's my Mom. One benefit to her friend coming over last night was telling Mom to back off if she really cared for my health at all. She told her no Babying and no nagging. To pretty much leave me alone unless I ask. Of course mom didn't listen to her because even now she's trying to bring one of her friends over to see me, I don't mind but she should be asking me if its okay not my nurse. She's still nagging at me about exercise, eating and etc. which is frustrating me because I knew about all that long before she did with this cancer. I don't need her repeating it to me. They just gave me the anti-nausea medication and is now pumping the steroid into my bloodstream. I have a window seat which is nice, I can see the 60 from here and a few mountains in the background, my nurse was interested in my job and asked about all the interesting people I see. Oh I could make a huge list. But I won't. I wonder how my team fared today. I wish I could've been there instead of here. I was able to get some ginger ale from the clinic. They have people come around taking orders for food and drinks. It's nice, I've also got a TV here and a reclining seat. It's not 100% comfortable, but its enough. I'm still dreading the chemo infusion which is next. But hopefully it won't be too bad right?.. The first bag of 5-FU has been attached and is now pumping into me.. 10:53 am. I'm shaking a bit due to being nervous. The other two are hanging above me on the machine. So far I don't feel anything but that doesn't mean I won't later.. I'm hoping my only symptom is fatigue.. But knowing my luck. Sigh. So it's now 11:30 and my first round is done. Now comes the second. The famed "red devil" this ones only going to be administered for 15 minutes. So far I'm feeling OKAY. The stuff reminds me of koolaid fruit punch. I still need my schedule and stuff for work.. One more treatment to go and I'm homeward bound! They just finished up the second round and are now preparing me for my final which will last an hour. My nurse told me that they have a great acupuncturist at the clinic and if I ever need it to just ask as its complementary. I won't today, but maybe next time depending on my symptoms. I got lunch, a nice tuna sandwich and some fruit with my ginger ale. Hopefully I don't regret this later. They now have me hooked up to my third round. And everything is going well so far. I went to the bathroom since I've been drinking so much water and ginger ale on top of being pumped with so many fluids, my pee came out pink from the doxorubicin (red devil). Which I kind of giggled at. Most people freak out and I just find it funny. Must be something wrong with my brain. Ha! One more hour to go. Bobby has been texting me and his mother like a madman over this house we saw. Right now I'm indifferent to it as I don't want to be disappointed like the last one. But he's got his hopes set way too high on it! We will see though. My third round is almost finished. I'm feeling alright so far. I know for sure I'm going to keep up on my medications. I want no nausea! I'm dreading tomorrow, but maybe this won't be so bad! And finished the last bag! I have a slight headache in between my eyes but I think that's just from having to repeat myself several times for my parents because they don't LISTEN. I listen I just chose to ignore half the time what's being said if its over said. Or my hearing just goes retarded and everything that comes out sounds like gibberish. Now to just close my port and grab my schedule and head home!! I got more good news today although its not official since my doctor hasn't told me, but the biopsies I had Thursday came back benign which means no cancer in those spots! Happy day! My chemo nurse also gave me some masks that I can use to wear in public :) although I may have to use the blue one mom gave me for work. Overall I'm not so afraid of my infusions anymore. It was a good experience. I guess I should be dreading the next few weeks!! Hopefully not though. Well here's to praying for a speedy recovery with little harm!